he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's just like the Real World with babies
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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