Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
