u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
