"it" just moved
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
