I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
