Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
