community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
