We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Two words: nipple clamps
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