College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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