So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize