my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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