Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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