just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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