We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
