I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
