I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
