Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
