At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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