why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When are your genitals available?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
