Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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