in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
