i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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