Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
