is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
