If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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