smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
