do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
