I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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