We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize