Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
