Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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