I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
