Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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