is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
