PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize