help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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