those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
