what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
