I just cut my nipple shaving
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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