I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize