Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
