Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We don't watch enough power rangers
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
