careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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