I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
