if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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