We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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