Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
