Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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