I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize