dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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