I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
