He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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