nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
