I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
