i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize