Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
