i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
