i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
