never play flip cup with pint glasses
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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