my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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