i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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