dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
