I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
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