Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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