the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
