It's like God shit irony all over that family
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Randomize
