whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
